Today is Valentine's Day, and appropriately I have been reading reflections on love from Thomas Merton's book, No Man is an Island, which I got as a gift from a friend this past Christmas. I have often thought it unfortunate that our concept of love on Valentine's Day tends to be a bit self-centered. Too often it is either about a couple in love focusing on their own relationship (not that that is in any way a bad thing) or a single person mourning the lack of a romantic relationship in his/her life. I would love to see a Valentine's Day when everyone focuses on loving as God loves - a day when we love those who are poor and most vulnerable in society, those who are downtrodden or the outcasts in our community, and yes, even our enemies. Of course, I guess that is supposed to be our focus every day!! Even the celebration of the love between a couple in a relationship should always be the celebration of a love that ultimately manifests itself in loving others. The concrete expression of this is when a couple has children, but it should not in anyway be limited to having children, but should extend out into the wider community. Love should ultimately make more of us, make us go outside of ourselves. A love that only turns us inward is a love that is lacking in maturity.

Thomas Merton reflects that

a happiness that is diminished by being shared is not big enough to make us happy. . . . True happiness is found in unselfish love, a love which increases in proportion as it is shared. There is no end to the sharing of love, and therefore, the potential happiness of such love is without limit.

My challenge to those who are in relationships this Valentine's Day would be to reflect on how your love enables you to go out toward others. How do you share your love with others? My challenge to those of us who are single is to reflect on what it truly means to love and be loved, and then let the love God has for us pour through us and touch all of the people we encounter in our lives.